


And Around Again

by tarrysmith



Series: Loki/Sif [2]
Category: Loki of Asgard, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 17:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarrysmith/pseuds/tarrysmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can a misunderstanding ruin forever the happiness they had found in each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Around Again

**Author's Note:**

> So, a long time ago (2/16/14), I wrote this story, The Turnaround, my very first ever fan fic. Before The Unholy Three became my head canon, I imagined Loki with Sif! (That was when I was very new to fan fic, and this vanilla, Christian grandmother couldn’t even imagine the kind of kinky fuckery that has morphed into the Unholy Three that I love so much, let alone write it…). Anyway, a week or so ago, I had begun working on Chapter 51 of Because (has anyone missed it? No? I’m going to finish it anyway!), and for some reason my mind went back to Loki and Sif… 
> 
> That original story is 9179 words long! If I were writing it today, it would be a multi, 5 or 6 chapters. But I didn’t know any better back then, so I wrote it as a one-shot, and in keeping with that tradition, I present this sequel, 11,372 words long, also as a one-shot. 
> 
> If you’ve read anything of mine, you know it’s impossibly sweet. This is too, and yet… I think I’ve actually managed to write genuine angst! I’m quite proud of myself! It still has a weak-ass, lame sappy-sweet ending, ‘cause that’s how I roll! Not overwhelmingly smutty, but there’s some.

And Around Again

Sif braced her hands against his chest as she rode him, feeling her climax barreling towards her. She had already come twice, but this one felt to be the most intense yet, and this time, she was determined to take him with her. His stamina was legendary, but she knew all the little touches to make him lose control, and she rode him harder, deliberately tightening herself around him, and he grasped her waist, down near her hips, his big hands gentle but firm.

Loki looked up at her, his eyes full of wonder, not for the life of him able to figure out what he had done to deserve her, to know her love, and to have her in his life. He had dedicated this last year or so, to doing everything he could to be worthy of her love, to show her he was a changed man, someone she could be proud of. And he knew that she was.

And right now, he was buried to the hilt in her warm wetness, struggling to maintain control, while she fucked him hard. She felt a dark satisfaction when he bucked his hips up into her, and holding her tighter, he rolled them so that he was on top, never missing a thrust. He dipped his head and peered into her eyes, his gaze loving. He clenched his jaw and asked through gritted teeth, “Are you close, my love? Because I won’t be able to hold out much longer.”

She rocked her hips up to meet him. “Let go, Loki, love,” she gasped. “All I need is to feel you filling me.”

“Sif!” he cried out, as he stiffened and came, his cock spasming inside her, hitting her g-spot, and her voice cried out his name on a keening cry, as she reached her third orgasm of the night.

Loki collapsed against her, and she gathered him to her, stroking his hair, reveling in the feel of his naked skin sticking slightly to hers as they came down together.

“You know I love you, right?” she murmured, pressing her lips gently against his brow.

“Mmmm. And I love you. And you’ve made me the happiest man in Asgard,” he said, snuggling against her.

“Well, I have something to tell you,” she began. Actually, she had two things to tell him, but tonight, she was going to tell him the bad news; she would save the good news for when she got back.

He stiffened at her tone. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like what you have to say?”

“Because you won’t,” she said regretfully. “Thor is sending me to Alfheim with Fandral…”

“No!” Loki practically snarled. “No! Not Fandral! I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him! He wants you, and I don’t think he has many scruples left. He’ll stop at nothing to get you!”

“ _I_ don’t want _him!_ ” Sif said lightly. “And I can take care of myself. I only want you. He knows that, and he respects it. All the years he could have had me, and he only wants me now because he knows I’m yours. Besides, Volstag is coming with us, too. He’ll protect me!” She chuckled a little, and after a moment, Loki joined her.

“That he will,” he said. “But why is Thor sending you?”

_“I don’t have anyone else,” Thor said apologetically. “You know how they are there. I have to send someone that they know is important to me, or they’ll feel offended.”_

_“But why Fandral?” Sif asked, whining a little. “Why can’t Loki come?”_

_Thor looked askance at her. “Really?” he asked. “Loki in Alfheim? Do you really think that’s a good idea?”_

_After a moment, Sif bit her lip and shook her head. “No,” she said quietly._

“You know I’m going with Thor to Midgard,” Loki continued now. “The Avengers need me for a particularly nasty problem they’ve been dealing with.”

“Yes, I know,” she said.

_“Besides, Loki is coming with me to Midgard,” Thor continued. Sif was glad. She knew Loki was anxious to help there in any way he could. He was hoping his assistance would help make up for the havoc he had wreaked on the mortals’ world._

“You’ll be safe, won’t you?” she asked worriedly. “You know I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, adjusting their positions so that she lay with her head on his chest. He cuddled her gently, both arms around her, sighing contentedly. “And it won’t be a long trip.”

“Yes, Thor said you’d be back before we will,” Sif said, snuggling her cheek against his chest, her fingers idly stroking his skin.

“So don’t worry, my love,” Loki said, kissing her again, and gradually, their breathing deepened as they both drifted into sleep.

Loki figured the most intelligent way for him to handle himself on Midgard was to keep his mouth shut and speak only when he was spoken to, or if he was sure he had something valuable to contribute. He could definitely see why they had wanted him on this mission. By implementing some of his illusions, he was able to create a diversion that resulted in the success of the campaign with not a single casualty on either side. The praise from the other team members was a balm to his bruised soul, and when Nick Fury shook his hand and personally thanked him, Loki felt himself swell with pride and gratitude. Thor clapped him on the back as they mounted the Bi-Frost on their way back to Asgard, and Loki couldn’t help smiling at the big oaf. Since being with Sif, he found himself a lot more patient, more contented, more — happy. Yes, Loki admitted it to himself: Sif made him happy. He wondered what she would say if he told her he’d like to make their relationship permanent; if he asked her – to marry him. Hmmm. Volstag was married… maybe he should seek out the older man’s advice. They were pretty good friends, after all… Loki nodded to himself. Yes, when Volstag returned, Loki would ask him, before speaking to Sif. He was so lost in thought that he missed the amused look that Thor shared with Heimdal as they reentered Asgard. In a happy daze, he absently said a farewell greeting to Thor, before heading for his rooms.

Sif’s mission with Fandral and Volstag was purely diplomatic, and all she had to do was keep her head, stay patient, and smile. Half the time, her smile consisted of gritted teeth, but no one else seemed the wiser. She looked around at Fandral and Volstag, and wondered what Thor had been thinking. Of the three of them, Volstag was the most diplomatic, and that was saying a lot! What an idea! Hogun would have been a better choice, but, she understood that he had his own mission, on his home world of Vanaheim, so, obviously, he was not an option.

So, Sif smiled, and nodded, and acted intimidating when the situation called for it, letting paternal old Volstag do most of the talking, with an occasional quip from Fandral, who certainly had the ladies of the court in an uproar, his charming manner, face, and voice captivating more than one diplomat’s wife. Sif was also aware that he was anywhere but his own rooms at night, and she shook her head, amused at Loki’s silly jealousy; the idea that she would ever give so much as the time of day to someone like Fandral was so ludicrous, she couldn’t even conceive of it.

And they must have done something right, because they were able to accomplish what they had come for; the treaty was signed, and they were on their way home, and a day earlier than Thor had been expecting. As she and Fandral and Volstag crossed the Bi-Frost on their way back to Asgard, she brightly greeted Heimdal.

“Is he here?” she asked, almost shyly.

“I don’t even need to ask who you are referring to,” the big guardian said, chuckling. “Yes, he’s here; they got in early yesterday. He’s around somewhere.”

“I want to surprise him, so if you see him, don’t tell him we’re back,” she said happily. And Sif realized, once again, with some small trepidation, just how happy she was. Loki – completed – something in her. She could sometimes hardly remember what her life had been like before she had fallen in love with him. Certainly, she didn’t want to go back to being alone like that again. She was pretty sure that Loki felt the same way, but, wistfully, she wondered what he would think if he knew how she yearned to belong to him on a permanent basis. How she wanted him to belong to her. She lifted her shield, shouldered her bag, and headed down the corridor towards their rooms.

When she got there, she opened the door, wondering if Loki was in, or if she would need to go looking for him. But as she stepped into the room, she froze, her bag and shield hitting the carpet with a muffled thud as she dropped them. Loki was in, all right. He stood in the middle of the floor, naked, his cock down the throat of some whore, who was on her knees in front of him. The girl was also naked, and from where she was standing, Sif could tell that she was pleasuring herself while she pleasured Loki. Her back was to Sif, and neither she nor Loki noticed Sif standing there, tears rolling down her face. Loki was obviously close, and as Sif watched, he stiffened and came, his voice crying out as tightened his fingers into the girl’s hair, his eyes clenched shut, head thrown back, teeth gritted.

With a stifled sob, Sif turned and fled, not caring when the door slammed loudly behind her. She was vaguely aware of Loki calling after her to wait, but she didn’t so much as even pause, she simply ran mindlessly. After a little while, her steps slowed, and she stopped to think what she would do now. She had moved into Loki’s chambers over a year ago; she had nowhere else to go, no place of her own to call home. Squaring her shoulders, she turned and headed for the one place where she knew she might actually be welcome.

He was amazingly talented, certainly his experience showed. Sif couldn’t help panting, her fingers tangling in his hair as she held his face against her. She bucked her hips, fucking his mouth, as his tongue alternated dipping into her entrance with swirling around her clit. He inserted two fingers, skillfully finding her g-spot, and she came, hands clenching, her walls tightening convulsively.

“Loki,” she moaned, her head thrashing from side to side.

“Nope, sorry, sweetie,” Fandral said, chuckling, moving up her body and positioning his cock at her entrance. “It’s just me, but you’re fucking me anyway.” And he entered her swiftly and began thrusting. Once again, she had to acknowledge that he knew what he was doing. She wrapped her legs around his slim hips, lifting her pelvis to meet him. He began moaning and cursing, calling her names, and she tuned him out, missing Loki’s gentle, affectionate love talk. She knew she could eventually get to orgasm, but she could feel Fandral spiraling out of control, and in order to speed things up, she closed her eyes, imagining Loki’s face, Loki’s voice, Loki’s body. She found her clit with her own fingers, and seconds after she felt Fandral spasm and spill into her, she came, a pitiful, unfulfilling orgasm.

Fandral pulled out of her and rolled over, panting. “Was it good for you, doll?” he asked lazily, smirking.

“This was a mistake,” Sif said to herself, rising to her feet and beginning to dress hurriedly. “I never should have come here. I should have stayed and confronted him. But I was hurt, and I wanted to hurt him back. I thought it would bring me satisfaction. But instead, all I feel is cheap and dirty.” Fully dressed, she turned back to face him, finding him still lying on the bed, his mouth open, looking up at her in shock.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve used you. I hope someday you can forgive me.”

And with that, she left his room, heading back down the corridor, determined to confront Loki, the way she should have done the night before. When she got to their suite, she paused, straightening her shoulders, taking a deep breath, then pushing open the door.

She felt a huge sense of anti-climax. The room was empty; he wasn’t there. Well, no matter, she would simply have to go and find him, because she was determined to have this out with him. He owed her an explanation. She deserved to know how long it had been going on, and just how big a fool he had been making of her. While she had been having rosy thoughts of marriage and children, he had been fucking – how many women? – while her back was turned. Oh god, she heaved a sigh of relief when she remembered that she hadn’t had a chance to tell him that news. Well, she likely never would, now…

But where was he? Frustrated, she started to leave their rooms, thinking to head for the library, admitting to herself that it was her last idea, and if he wasn’t there, then she had no clue of where else to look. She’d been everywhere else twice already. He was effectively hiding from her, the coward. This time, she stooped and picked up her shield, which was still lying there where she had dropped it. She clutched it, as, determinedly, she changed her mind and set off in the direction of the Council Chambers. Maybe Thor knew where he was!

The Council doors were standing open, and Sif could hear Thor’s booming voice coming from inside. She strode purposely up the center of the room, pausing when she got close to the council table. Thor looked up from the map he and his councilors were going over.

“Sif,” he said, quietly, for him. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Where is he?” she demanded flatly. “He’s hiding, but I will find him. You can shorten this farce by telling me where he is.”

Thor’s face want blank. “I’m sorry?”

“Loki,” Sif said shortly. “Where?”

“I’m sorry, I thought you knew,” Thor said, rising and approaching her. “He said you’d fought over his decision to accept this assignment.” He pulled something from a hidden pocket is his clothing and held it out to her. “He left you this…”

She took it, rolling it to and fro in her hands. “So, then, where? Where have you sent him?”

“Jotunheim. He left before first light… Sif…” he called out after her, but she was already on her way out the door.

Sif made her way back to their chambers. Still turning the messaging cube over and over in her fingers. She wouldn’t have believed it possible, but she found herself even angrier than she’d been before. How cowardly of him to flee to Jotunheim, even if it was on business for Thor. And yet, she realized that, if she weren’t so angry, what she would actually be feeling about now, would be terror. Because, in her heart of hearts, she knew that any mission to Jotunheim could just as easily turn into a suicide trip. No wonder he had used that as an excuse to tell Thor that they had fought. Certainly, if Loki had actually approached her, telling her he was going to Jotunheim, she would have literally sat on him to prevent him from going.

When she got back to their rooms, she went in, softly closing the door behind her. She closed her eyes, leaning back against it for a moment, taking a deep breath. She opened her eyes, and walked over to her chair in front of the fire, turning it around so that it faced into the center of the room. She held the messaging cube in front of her face, peering at it intently. Well, she might as well hear what he felt he had to say for himself. Pushing the activating button on the device, she gave it a gentle toss so that it landed on the carpet in the center of the room in front of her.

After a few moments, his image flickered to life before her. She could tell from the background, that he had been standing in almost exactly the same spot as the cube was now sitting, when he had made the recording. The sky at the windows showed dark. His image looked out at her sadly, tears in his eyes. He stood, in full battle armor, his hands clasped behind his back. She could see his golden, horned helmet sitting on the bed behind him.

“Sif,” his recorded image said. “I’m sorry. By now you know that I am on Jotunheim, on a mission for Thor. The likelihood of my ever returning is slim. But I would rather die on Jotunheim, than watch you loving Fandral.” His mouth twisted, and he looked away for a moment, before squaring his shoulders and looking back towards her (at the messaging cube itself, she knew) once again.

“Sif, you surprised me the other night, coming home early,” he continued. “You weren’t supposed to be back for another day. And I had missed you so much. I admit it, I was weak… I conjured up… well…”

He turned around, waving his hand, and she could now see more of the room in the recording, in perspective. The couple appeared, where she had seen them the night before, but she was now on the other side of them, and with this view, she could see that the naked woman who was giving Loki so much pleasure with her mouth was… she, Sif herself. Glancing to her right, she saw what must have been the real Loki, seated on the bed, jerking himself frantically while he watched his illusions of the two of them. As the illusion-Loki reached orgasm, so did the real Loki, seated on the bed, his cum spurting between his fingers and coating his stomach and chest.

Sif saw herself entering the room, seeing the illusion couple, dropping her shield and bag, and fleeing the room. The real Loki jumped up from the bed, calling after her, but by the time he had wiped himself off on the sheets and grabbed a robe to throw on, rushing to and throwing open the door, she was nowhere to be seen. He darted out into the corridor after her, but she knew he wouldn’t find her.

“So, now you know,” Loki’s image said, waving his hand again and causing the dream sequence to vanish. “I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you, Sif. I love you so much, I was hoping that…” he paused again, flinching in pain. “Never mind. You’ve made your choice. Fandral wasted no time coming to me to gloat. So, I hope you’ll be very happy…” his mouth twisted and his voice turned bitter. “No, I don’t. Not with him. But I won’t be around to witness it.”

He raised his head and looked straight out at her, and she felt a chill at the look in his eyes. “You deliberately did what you knew would hurt me the most,” he said savagely. “I hope you choke on it.” He turned away, and his image winked out as the message came to an end.

“Oh, Loki,” she whispered. “What have I done?”

“Thor, you have to send me to Jotunheim,” Sif insisted. “He’s going to need help. They’re never going to let him go.”

“Well, they’re never going to let you in,” Thor said. “The only reason they allowed Loki in is because he’s from the royal family, and because he’s…”

“What?” she asked, chilled to the bone at Thor’s demeanor.

The look on Thor’s face was nothing but frightening. “Sif, Loki isn’t really Aesir. He’s Jotun…”

“… Jotun?” Sif stammered. “But… How? Why?”

“It was something the AllFather did, long ago. He saved a baby, Laufey’s son: small, unwanted, rejected; left out in the cold to die. Brought here, and raised by Odin and Frigga to be their son, and my brother. I didn’t know, until a few years ago. Loki himself told me. It was what set him off, his grief at finding out Odin had lied to him all those years…”

“He left because of me,” Sif said brokenly. “I’ve hurt him unforgivably. But you know I love him, Thor. I have to rescue him.”

“I can’t help you, Sif,” Thor said regretfully. “I can’t send you. Not in any official capacity.”

“I’ll go myself, on my own,” Sif said. “One person, alone, has a better chance of slipping in through their defenses.”

“I can’t know your plans,” Thor said, holding up a hand, palm out in a stopping gesture. “Don’t involve me, Sif. But please, save my brother. You know that I love him, too.”

Sif nodded. “I’ll bring him back,” she said insistently, and she turned and left the Council room.

Sif knew she would need to travel light, but she also remembered from the last time that she had been there, that it was tremendously cold on Jotunheim. She went to the armory, outfitting herself with cold-weather armor, taking it back to the rooms that she shared –- had used to share, with Loki. For a moment, she sank down onto the bed, her face in her hands. She had done this. She had driven Loki to this. And now, she might lose him forever. Oh, who was she kidding? She had already lost him. But, the world without Loki in it was not something she wanted to think about. Even if he no longer wanted to be with her, she had to save him.

She dressed quickly, pulling on a thermal layer, an over-layer, and then donning the warm, winter armor. She hadn’t been the consort of Loki for over a year for nothing; she knew some his hidden ways off Asgard, and she thought she was pretty sure which one of those would lead to Jotunheim. She would need a boat, and getting access to one would very likely be the hardest part of this endeavor. Until she got to Jotunheim itself, that is. Once she got to Jotunheim, she would need to exercise all her stealth to find Loki, and, if he were being held prisoner, to break him out. It barely crossed her mind to consider that he might actually be being treated as a guest; no, she was sure he was being held against his will, in the prisons of Jotunheim.

As ready as she guessed she’d ever be, she slipped quietly out of the palace, unseen by anyone. She surreptitiously made her way down to the docks, where she hid behind some pilings, just waiting for an opportunity to find an unattended boat that she could “borrow.” She didn’t have to wait long. After all the fishermen had pulled away, there were still several boats left, and with no one around, she quickly made her way to one of them, climbing in and casting off. She kept the speed down until she was away from the city proper, and then she pushed forward on the throttle, pushing the boat as fast as it would go. Soon, she reached the cliffs and crevices that led to the hidden passages off of Asgard. Choosing what she was pretty sure was the one leading to Jotunheim, she maneuvered the boat through the twists and turns between the treacherous, craggy peaks. Her heart raced as she steered the boat, at more than one point flipping it on its side, in order for it to fit through the narrow canyons, hanging on for dear life. Finally, the boat shot out the other side, and Sif found that she had guessed correctly: she was on Jotunheim.

_“I know you won’t want to go, but I’ve had a request from the Regent of Jotunheim,” Thor said soberly, eying Loki doubtfully. “They’re wanting me to send an ambassador. I was going to just politely decline, but before I do, I thought I ought to, in all honesty, ask you if you’d ever consider such a thing.”_

_“Can you imagine?” Loki said quietly, chuckling. “Sif would have my head, then your head, and then she’d come back for my head again.”_

_“Yes, that’s what I figured you’d say,” Thor said, nodding to himself. “But I had to at least ask.”_

_“No harm, no foul,” Loki said._

Then, that disastrous night that Sif had returned from Alfheim a day early. He had tried to follow her, but he wasn’t quick enough, and then he didn’t know where to look. This had been the longest they had been apart since they’d been a couple, and now, instead of spending a wonderful evening in each other’s arms, Sif thought he had been untrue, and instead of trusting him enough to ask for an explanation, she had run. It had plunged him into an instant depression. He remembered back to when he had first realized that he was in love with her. He had been under house arrest, and sure that no one would ever trust or love him again. But, miraculously, Sif had done both. Or at least, she’d seemed to. He thought she had. But clearly, she didn’t really trust him.

The next day, he was up before the sun, determined to find her. They loved each other; she should give him a chance to tell her what she had really been seeing. Surely, she would have calmed down enough this morning to listen to him now. He tried to think of all the places that she might have gone: the garden spot where he had first read poetry to her; the river where he had taught her how to fish, the library, the armory. He tried the library first, with no luck, and headed on to the armory. Fandral was there, practicing archery. He put down his bow when he saw Loki, looking up to greet him.

“Hey, thanks for finally getting tired of Sif,” he said snidely, “although I can see why you stayed with her for so long! She’s an absolute tigress — I have claw marks all up my back!”

“What are you talking about?” Loki asked blankly, feeling like he somehow had missed the joke.

“Well, you threw her out, right?” Fandral said, grinning. “That’s what I assumed had happened, when she showed up on my doorstep last night. And what a night it was! I owe you, man!”

“Think nothing of it,” Loki said, smirking, and turning sharply, he left the armory. He was able to hold it together until Fandral could no longer see or hear him. As a matter of fact, he made it all the way to their favorite place in the garden, before he slumped down onto the bench and buried his face in his hands. Bitter sobs shook him. Betrayed. He felt so betrayed. Fandral. How could she have gone to him? She knew…

Suddenly, he was more angry than sad. Her actions had been deliberately hurtful. He struggled to try to see it from her point of view, but he was failing miserably. She hadn’t even given him a chance to explain, and her actions felt very final. He didn’t think he was ready to accept that what they had had was over — his love for her could not be shut off like a faucet — but he also wasn’t going to just go on with his life while he watched her fuck Fandral. Just about anything else would be preferable. He remembered his conversation with Thor…

And that is how he came to be here, three nights after their initial conversation, seeking out Thor, asking if an ambassador to Jotunheim was still wanted.

_“Yes, I haven’t responded to them yet,” Thor replied. “I was going to give it at least a week or so, so it would at least look like I had tried to find someone.”_

_“Well, I’m here to volunteer,” Loki said grimly. “I’ll go. I’m the obvious choice, and I feel like I owe it to Father. It’s what he intended when he rescued me all those years ago.”_

_“But what about Sif?” Thor asked skeptically. “You said yourself, she’ll never allow it.”_

_“Yes, well, we’ve quarreled about it, but it can’t be helped,” Loki said quietly. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a messaging cube. “She won’t talk to me, so, would you please give this to her when you see her next?”_

_“Of course, Loki,” Thor said, taking it from him and stowing it somewhere in his own clothing. Thor took Loki in a forearm grip, and then pulled him close into a hug. “Good journey, Brother,” he said, and Loki grinned._

_“Thanks, Brother,” he said, then he turned smartly and left the Council room._

Not wanting to meet Sif, Loki had prepared and packed before he had ever left to tell Thor that he’d go. Now, having arranged things with his brother, he went straight to Heimdal, and the Bi-Frost. “I’m to be Ambassador to Jotunheim,” he said, trying to sound proud, but ending up sounding more resigned than anything else.

“I had heard,” Heimdal said, preparing the Bi-Frost for Jotunheim. “Good journey, Loki,” he said kindly.

“Thank you, Heimdal,” Loki said, as he headed down the Rainbow Bridge. He didn’t look back.

Once he knew he was out of sight of Asgard (except from Heimdal, of course. One could never be out of sight of _him_ ), his posture changed, he slumped, and tears rolled down his cheeks. He still loved Sif with all his heart, but she was with Fandral now. Bitterly, he tried to tell himself they deserved each other, but he knew he didn’t really believe that. Sif had done what she had after seeing his illusions, and, Loki assumed, thinking he was cheating on her. She hadn’t even given him any chance to explain, she had run immediately to Fandral, and Loki wasn’t sure that he would ever be able to forgive her for that. But he did still love her, and he knew that he would never be able to see her with Fandral. No, death was preferable. Or exile on Jotunheim. No matter which scenario awaited him, it would be a better outcome than remaining in Asgard.

_“You’re my son,” the AllFather said._

_“What else?” Loki demanded._

Loki well remembered the first time he realized that things were not what they seemed. The Jotun soldier had grabbed his arm, his malicious grin turning into a look of extreme confusion, when, instead being frozen, his opponent, Loki, rather began to… shift. Now, as Loki got closer and closer to Jotunheim, he felt the subtle pull, and knew that his body was adapting, showing his ‘true colors,’ as it were. He looked down at his hands, now blue, with raised markings that were a genetic marker, like hair or skin color were to other races. Most disturbing of all, he knew that his eyes were now a bright red, something even he found disconcerting. He sometimes wondered how his mother had been able to teach him to hold on to his Aesir form, from quite a young age, as he had absolutely no memories of ever appearing in his Jotun form. But it was too late to ask her now, and he doubted that Father knew, not that he had yet to wake from his Odinsleep. Loki knew the healers feared he never would.

As Loki passed into Jotunheim, he was met by an armed escort. “We are to take you to the palace to meet with the Regent,” said one of them. He was the largest, and Loki took him to be the one in charge.

“Thank you,” Loki said. “Please, let’s proceed.”

The guards conducted him to the palace, and Loki began to think that maybe this would turn out OK after all. He was shown into what was obviously their council room. At the far end, the Regent sat on a chair to one side of the throne, on a dais.

“Welcome, Ambassador from Asgard. You are Loki Odinson, are you not?” he said, his voice impossible to read.

Loki allowed himself to shift into his more familiar Aesir form. “Yes,” he confirmed. “I am Loki, of Asgard. I am come at the behest of my brother Thor, currently the acting king.”

The Regent studied Loki for what seemed like minutes, but what was probably only a few seconds. Loki fidgeted uncomfortably, before slowly shifting back into his Jotun form.

“Are you not also the son of Laufey?” the Regent asked. Again, Loki heard a note in the man’s voice that he couldn’t interpret, but the words disturbed him so much that he answered rashly, making no attempt to hide his feeling of betrayal.

“He may have sired me, but I am no son of Laufey,” he bit out. “I am the son of Odin AllFather!” Once again, Loki allowed himself to shift back into his Aesir form.

“Semantics matter little,” the Regent said inscrutably. “You are of the blood of Laufey, and are therefore an heir to the throne of Jotunheim. As such, you are a threat to me. Guards, seize him.”

Loki tried to run; he tried to use his magic, but to no avail. He was grabbed by two huge guards, and held fast where he stood. He struggled, but it was as if he were being held by mountains. There was no give at all in the hulks who were holding him.

“All magic will be blocked here in the palace,” the Regent said, chuckling wickedly. “It will do you no good here.” He began pacing on his dais. “But I’m not quite sure what to do with you. I can’t just kill you, because your identity is known to too many. Those who were supporters of Laufey would see you on the throne, and if it were known that I had had you killed, it would undoubtedly cause problems for me. No,” he paused, cupping his chin in his hand. “No. I will have to think of another way to eliminate you. Guards, take him to the lowest level of the dungeon. Make sure his cell is magic-sealed. And post a watch.”

As the guards started to drag Loki out, he shifted back into Jotun form and tried one last time to break free. His body in this configuration was stronger than his Aesir form, but he was small for a Jotun, and his strength, although considerable, was no match for the two huge guards who held him fast. This time, when he tried to shift back to his more familiar Aesir form, he found that he could not.

The Regent laughed out loud as his guards dragged Loki away. “Farewell, Loki, son of Odin AllFather, Prince of Asgard. I hope you enjoy our hospitality.”

Loki lips twitched, but he forced himself to remain silent, sure that anything he were to say now would only get him into more trouble. Right now, he was still alive, but for how long? And would Thor come after him? How would Thor even know he was in trouble? The duration of his stay here was to be open-ended; for all Thor knew, he, Loki, was settling well into his duties as Asgardian ambassador to Jotunheim. He fought down despair as the guards threw him into a dank, cold cell, and the barred door was closed with a jolt and locked from the outside. Loki sank down onto the damp, muck-covered floor and made himself as comfortable as he could.

Sif moved down the corridors as quietly as she could. So far, everything had gone her way, and she allowed herself to think that this crazy, madcap rescue plan might actually work. Once she had landed on Jotunheim, she had disguised the boat as best she could, and then began making her way toward the palace. She assumed that that was where Loki had been heading, since he was supposedly on a diplomatic mission. She also assumed that he had most likely been brought here under false pretenses, and that he was being held in the dungeons under the palace. She didn’t know why she was so certain, but her instincts had always been good, and she was thoroughly convinced that Loki was in danger. Her heart sank when she realized, yet again, that this was most likely all her fault. How could she have ever doubted him? In the time they had been together, and it was well over a year, he had done nothing but demonstrate his loyalty to her over and over again. They had been friends, and then they had been lovers, and at that moment, she realized that she loved him more than life itself. If she were to lose him, she wasn’t sure she would want to go on. And yet, that was selfish, as she was not the only person to consider here.

So, there was only one choice open to her: she had to rescue Loki and convince him to take her back. She would have to prove her love and her worthiness. But first, she would have to find him.

One thing she discovered right away, as she finally approached the palace: Jotuns were large and powerful, but most of the largest in size were also the smallest in intellect. She quickly found out that the old trick of tossing something away from you as a distraction, worked every, single time. She first tried it outside the palace, lobbing a small chunk of rock away from her. The guard on duty heard it land, and took off after it to investigate, unbelievably leaving his post unguarded. Amazed, Sif quickly filled her pockets with stones, then ducked her head and entered the palace through the front door.

And used the same trick, successfully, over and over; chuck a rock, and then sneak past the guard when he went to investigate. It was so ludicrous, that she would have been laughing out loud if she hadn’t been aware of just how much trouble she would be in if she ever ran out of luck and got caught. But now, she had actually gotten as far as the cells below the palace, and so, the next step, was to actually find where they were holding Loki.

Because he was here. She could sense his presence, she could feel him, and she was determined to find him or to die trying. She loved him, she needed him, and she would have him back safe in Asgard. It was only a matter of time.

In the end, she almost missed him. She crept along, peering into the cells as she passed them. These prisoners weren’t treated nearly as well as the ones on Asgard. None of them even noticed her, because none of them bothered to even look up. Their heads hung in pain, despair, or both. She could see that most of them were Jotun, and she only gave them a passing glance, which is why she passed him right by the first time; she was expecting her Loki. Most of these prisoners had been beaten, and while the bruises got lost in the blue of their skin, the blood from the open wounds did not. She crept past an unusually small Jotun, dirty and covered in fresh blood. He had been beaten quite severely, more than once, but obviously the last time had been fairly recently, as the blood still dripped, and he appeared to be unconscious; she idly wondered what he had done to warrant such harsh treatment, but she didn’t have time to speculate — she had to find Loki.

He had to be here! He had to be close! She was so attuned to him, she could feel him. She could hear him breathing, could smell his scent. She reached the end of the corridor and turned, puzzled. How had she missed him?

She backtracked, peering in the cells again. As before, none of the prisoners so much as glanced at her. Her blood ran cold. She had to find him. She reached the cell with the undersized Jotun, once again eyeing him curiously. She jerked back when he suddenly sat up, a look of stunned disbelief and horror in his red eyes, eyes that somehow seemed familiar…

“Sif,” he hissed. “What are you doing here?”

“Loki,” she whispered, recognizing his voice. “By Valhalla is that really you?” For he was Jotun, a Frost Giant, although the term ‘giant’ really didn’t fit him. It was true that Loki was tall, but Thor was actually a little taller. Loki was by no one’s definition, a giant. But there was no mistaking the blue skin, the raised markings, the ruby red eyes. He was Jotun – a Frost Giant. He was mostly naked, and now that she knew that it was Loki, her heart cried out at the hurt that had been done to him.

“You have to leave,” he said intensely. “Now. If they find you here, they won’t hesitate. They’ll kill you….”

“I’m not leaving without you,” she whispered back. “I came here to rescue you. Loki…” Sif looked at him, tears in her eyes, her emotions raw, naked on her face. “Loki, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. Now’s not the time, I have to get you out of here, but I hope you’ll give me another chance, a chance to make it up to you. I was such a fool…”

“You’re right, now is not the time,” he said flatly, and her heart sank. “What’s your plan?”

“I hadn’t really thought past finding you,” she said frustratedly. “I don’t suppose your magic…”

“They’re blocking it somehow, but if I could get far enough away from whatever is causing that, I could cast an illusion to help us,” he said, continuing to look at her coldly.

“I have a boat, if we could just get to it,” Sif said. “That’s how I got here.”

“You didn’t come the Bi-Frost?” he asked.

“No, I came one of your hidden ways,” she said, grinning. “You should be proud of me.”

He chuckled softly. “I guess I am,” he said. “So, how do I get out of this cell?”

“I’m going to pick the lock,” she said, taking out a tool kit. “I’d say, take blankets to make it look like you’re sleeping, but they haven’t given you any blankets, have they?” Just that simple indignity alone just made her so sad, and she began working on the lock immediately.

“Don’t worry, I’m good at this,” she said. “Fandral taught me…” Her voice trailed off as she realized what she was saying, and got a look at his face. He froze, his whole body stiffening, and he turned away. “Just get on with it, if you’re going to,” he said curtly. “But I don’t want to hear any stories about your lover.”

“He’s NOT my lover,” she said fiercely. “But we’ll talk about that when we get back to Asgard.”

Loki was surprised at how fast Sif got the lock undone. She gently eased the door open, cringing when the hinges creaked and groaned loudly. “Quickly!” she said. “Come on!”

Loki slipped around the door and Sif grabbed his hand. She squeezed it tightly. “Oh, Loki,” she sighed.

“I love you, Sif,” Loki said involuntarily; it felt like the words were being dragged from him. He scowled.

If she hadn’t known it was him, his expression would have frightened her. As it was, she understood his conflicted feelings, but inwardly rejoiced to know that he still cared for her, whether he wanted to or not. “I love you, too,” she said intensely. At his doubtful look, she insisted, “Loki, I do!”

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, turning away. She nodded, and started down the corridor, still holding his hand, and he followed on her heels. They moved rapidly, trying not to make too much noise, but they didn’t get very far before they heard a commotion coming from the corridor behind them.

“I think they’d discovered that I’m no longer in my cell,” Loki said quietly.

“We’ve got to get out of here!” Sif said anxiously. “Is your magic…?”

Loki concentrated, closing his eyes. After a moment, he opened them again. “No, it’s still blocked,” he said. “The Regent said the magic won’t work in the palace.”

“Then we need to get out of the palace!” Sif said fiercely. “Come on!”

They took off running again. Sif was aware that her armor was clanking, although Loki, who was nearly naked, was moving almost silently. Sif could hear that the noise from behind them was getting closer. “They’re going to catch us…” she muttered, her eyes wild.

“How much farther before we’re out of the palace?” Loki asked calmly. He knew they didn’t have long before the guards would be on them, and if that happened, they would probably be killed, but Sif was already panicked, so he decided to not say any of that, figuring that staying calm would be the most helpful thing he could do.

“Actually, not far,” she realized with some surprise, and suddenly she looked hopeful. She grinned, and Loki grinned back. By Valhalla, he loved her! She had risked her life to come rescue him. Maybe they could forgive each other. Maybe they could salvage what they’d had…

“We need to go,” she said, grabbing his hand again. “It’s this way.” They continued to run down the corridor, when suddenly, they were confronted by half a dozen armed guards in front of them. Sif drew her sword, snarling at them, but Loki had no weapons, and no magic. “Stay out of my way. I don’t want to hit you,” she said to him, before engaging the guards.

Loki watched the fight, looking for an opportunity. Sif was a skilled swordsman, while the Jotuns really just relied more on sheer brute strength. It wasn’t long before she had disarmed one of them, the man’s sword flying through the air and coming to rest on the floor near the wall. This was what Loki had been waiting for, and he scooped it up and rushed to help Sif with the remaining guards. She flinched when one of the Jotuns got in a lucky shot; blood welled from a deep cut on her left shoulder. She lost no time in putting that one down, his movements drawing him close to her; there were now only five left fighting.

“You’d think they’d send a few more so it would be a fair fight,” Loki murmured as he engaged with three of the remaining guards.

Sif was too busy fighting off the other two to comment, but she shot a grin his way. Loki didn’t say anything, but he could see that the way she was losing blood, that she probably would not be able to stay on her feet for very much longer. His fear for her drove him on, and, while he had never been a very good swordsman, his finesse and desperation served him well, and quickly, he dispatched his three assailants, then rushed to help Sif with the last two. Together, they finished them off, but there was no time to rest or celebrate; their pursuers were almost upon them.

“It’s just up here,” Sif said, struggling to catch her breath. Loki knew better than to let her see his fear, so he hid it well, but the truth is, she was losing entirely too much blood. Loki knew they would need to get to the boat quickly, before the blood loss caused her to lose consciousness.

They had arrived at what looked like a blind corridor, and Loki’s heart sank, until he realized that Sif was heading for a very cleverly disguised opening.

“How did you even know this was here?” he asked her in wonder.

“Didn’t you pay any attention in school?” she asked. Loki could tell she was trying to convey exasperation, but she was so weak that her voice was slurred. Loki was well aware that she was barely holding on, and what was more, he knew that she realized that he knew.

He pulled her closer to him, supporting her weight, stepping to the opening. “I’ve got to get you back to Asgard,” he said “Is there a trick to this?”

“No,” she said faintly. “You just push it open.”

He shoved at it, giving a grunt of satisfaction as it scraped open slowly. He helped her to step out, then propped her against the wall for support so that he could use both hands to close the door again. As he glanced down at his arms held in front of him, and noticed their color fading, he crowed in triumph.

“I can use my magic!” he cried. Quickly, he pressed the door to and leveled a sealing spell at it. “That should buy us a little time—Sif!” For she had slid down the wall, and was now seated in an ungainly heap against the base, her bright red blood staining the snow, her head lolling against her chest.

“Sif… Sif, darling…” he said, as he lifted her head, peering into her face, trying to wake her up. “Dearest, I need to know where the boat is… My love, don’t leave me now…”

Aware that his tears were freezing instantly to his cheeks, and realizing that he wasn’t dressed for Jotunheim, Loki allowed himself to slip back into his Jotun form. He picked up Sif gently and cradled her in his arms, not sure where he was going, but figuring anywhere away from the palace would be good. He paused, flinging spells over his shoulder, every time he heard the Jotuns closing in.

Sif groggily raised her head. She was so weak, and her entire left side felt like it was on fire. She was being roughly manhandled – no, she was being carried, the frightening-looking, undersized Jotun warrior who was carrying her was practically running. “Loki,” she said weakly.

“Sif,” he said tenderly, stopping and looking down at her. “I thought I’d lost you.”

Sif wasn’t sure how she managed it, but she chuckled softly, relieved when she saw the panicked pain retreat a little from Loki’s expression. “You won’t be able to get rid of me quite that easily,” she said, almost inaudibly.

He kissed her brow gently. “I’ve probably gotten us hopelessly lost,” he confessed, “but I figured I needed to get us away from the palace at any cost. I don’t suppose you recognize anything, do you? Or have any idea where the boat is from here?”

Painfully, she made herself look around, her eyes trying to light up as she saw where they were, but really too weak to show him how elated she felt inside. “You’ve done well, love,” she whispered. “Would you believe, it’s just over that rise?”

“Oh, Sif,” he said, his arms tightening around her, his face buried in her hair, which was stiff with her own drying blood. “I’ll have you back in Asgard soon.”

But she didn’t hear him because she had lost consciousness again.

Loki made his way up the slight hill she had indicated, exulting when he spied the boat, but it was a bit further than it looked to be, and he was panting by the time he got to it. He settled Sif tenderly onto one of the benches, then began the process of firing up the engines and preparing to take off. He froze when he saw the Jotun hoards cresting the hill, and flung a spell at them, feeling a dark satisfaction at the look of dismay on their faces as the permafrost melted under their feet and they all sank waist-deep into a peaty bog. He gave a cry of triumph when the boat’s engines caught, and with a flippant wave of his hand to the still-struggling Jotun soldiers, he turned the boat around and headed back the way Sif had come.

He spared a glance over at her; her pallor was alarming. It was going to take too long to get her to Asgard. He was going to lose her. The blood was still trickling from her shoulder, and he could feel her heart slowing, her breath becoming ever shallower…

“No,” he whispered. “No, I won’t lose you. I can’t…”

It would be so much faster if he could just take the Bi-Frost… suddenly he felt like an idiot. He could take the Bi-Frost! There was absolutely nothing stopping him! He’d gone to Jotunheim at Thor’s behest, on a diplomatic mission. He didn’t need to slink back to Asgard this time. Setting the controls of the boat to auto-home, he sat on the bench and gently pulled Sif’s head into his lap, stroking the bloody hair back from her face, closing his eyes in exhaustion, and allowing himself to let go. His body relaxed and slipped sideways as he lost consciousness himself…

When the boat approached the palace, the healers that Heimdal had summoned were ready, two teams: one for Loki, and a slightly larger one for Sif. Neither patient woke in the mad flurry that happened as their boat crashed into the docking bay. The medical personnel scrambled with gurneys and bandages and fluids, appalled at the filthy conditions of Loki, and bleakly frightened at the tenuous hold Sif still held onto life.

Several of Loki’s wounds were actually infected, and his body raged with fever. When they’d pulled him from the boat, he’d still been in Jotun form, but as his system absorbed the medicines and he pulled back from a crisis state, he had slowly morphed into his Aesir form, without ever regaining consciousness. Thor visited him several times a day, and finally, on the fourth day, as Thor paced in his brother’s sickroom, he became aware of Loki watching him, his face the picture of anxiety. “Sif…” he whispered: a question, a prayer, a hope.

Thor strode to Loki’s side and grabbed his brother’s hand. “She’ll be all right,” he said reassuringly. “It was touch and go, for a while. It took forever for them to get the bleeding stopped, and she had lost so much blood. We are of the same type, she and I…” The big, blond man ran his hand over a small bandage in the crook of his elbow. “And they were afraid that she might lose the use of her left arm, but there have been signs that the damage is not as extensive as they feared.”

“Is she awake?” Loki croaked, his mouth and lips dry. “Can I see her?”

“Let me get you some water,” Thor said evasively, picking up a pitcher and pouring a glass. He popped a straw into it and brought it to Loki. “Here,” he said, handing the glass to Loki.

Loki sipped gingerly, knowing that if he did what he wanted to do, and chugged it, he would most likely just immediately sick it up. “But?” he questioned quietly.

“But what?” Thor said, not meeting Loki’s eyes.

“But what aren’t you telling me?” he demanded weakly. “What are you hiding?”

“She hasn’t regained consciousness yet,” Thor admitted, in a voice that was quiet for him. “They’re keeping her under deliberately. They’re still hoping they can save the baby. I told them you would rather they save Sif, but they think they can save both…”

“Baby?” Loki whispered, sounding stunned. “Sif is… pregnant?”

Thor looked at him, surprised. “You didn’t know?” he asked. When Loki mutely shook his head, Thor continued. “They say about four months. That’s far enough along that if the baby was born today, it might be able to live. Every additional day gives it that much better a chance. Sif came to briefly as they were stitching her shoulder, and let them know that if they didn’t save Loki’s son, the only candidate at this time for the future heir to the throne, that she would personally have all their heads.” Thor grinned. “When I told her she was being presumptuous, she told me that Jane and I should get busy, then…”

“I need to see her,” Loki said, trying to get up out of the bed. “I have to go her…”

“Wait a minute; wait just a minute,” Thor said, pressing Loki back down into the bed, his big hands on the slighter man’s shoulders. “You’re going to need help. Let me call the healer.”

Loki sank back, not wanting to admit it, but acknowledging that Thor was right. He felt that if he tried to stand up, he’d probably collapse, and that wouldn’t get him in to see Sif at all. He closed his eyes, resting his head back against the pillow, already exhausted. He forced them back open when he heard footsteps coming in through the door.

“It seems you are awake,” the young healer said, smiling kindly at him. “My colleague, who is tending to Sif, gave instructions that you were to be taken in to see her immediately, as soon as you were capable of doing so.” The young man paused, considering him for a moment. “She seems to think that you will be the best possible medicine for her patient, and I’m pretty sure that in your case, that will work both ways.”

Again, Loki tried to rise, but the healer came around the bed and put an arm about his shoulders. “Let’s just sit you up,” he said cheerfully. “I’ve called for a rolling chair to be delivered. It should be here soon. Thor said he would escort you personally.”

Loki glanced over the healer’s shoulder, to see the blond behemoth grinning at him cheekily. Taking a deep breath, Loki shook his head, a rueful little half-smile twisting his lips.

Thor and the young healer got Loki settled in the rolling chair, and the healer transferred the I.V. bag from its stand by the bed, to the holder on the chair. Thor grabbed the chair’s handles and began wheeling Loki down the corridor. “They’re thinking of waking her up soon,” Thor said quietly. “Your healer just told me they were basically waiting for you to wake up.”

As they sped through the corridors, Loki tried to get his feelings to coalesce into something he could quantify. Sif was pregnant with his child. Sif had cheated on him, with the one person he absolutely could not abide. Sif had risked her life and had almost been killed to rescue him. He loved her.

Deep down, he knew that she loved him. He could feel it. And he had absolutely no doubts whatsoever that the child she was carrying was his. He knew that it was.

He knew that a secret, smirking smile was gracing his face. His feelings were clear, and he knew what he needed to do. “I would like to speak with Volstag,” he said firmly. “Can we go to him, before you take me to Sif?”

“Volstag?” Thor asked, thoroughly nonplussed. “Why Volstag?”

“I need his advice. Please, Thor,” Loki said, wheedling.

Thor stopped in mid-corridor, approaching an orderly that was on his way somewhere, coming towards them. “Can you go fetch Volstag and bring him to the waiting room?”

“Of course, my liege,” the young man replied, bowing, beginning to jog when Thor said, “Quickly!”

Loki sat, fidgeting in his rolling chair, until the door opened and Volstag stepped through. Loki looked earnestly up at Thor. “Can you give us a few minutes?” he asked.

“Um, sure,” Thor said, shaking his head puzzledly, and stepping into the corridor, slamming the door gently. Loki winced. “Oaf,” he said under his breath, and Volstag chuckled.

“What do you want from me, Loki?” Volstag asked, smiling benignly. “It is very good to see you up and about. The last time I looked in on you… Well, let’s just say, you didn’t look near as lively.”

Loki gazed up at his friend, looking a little lost. “Volstag…” he paused, swallowing hard. “Uh, what’s it like being… married?”

Volstag bit his lip to keep from roaring out loud with laughter. He managed to contain it for almost a minute, before it barreled out of him and rang off the walls of the room. “Oh, Loki, my friend,” he gasped out, as soon as he could talk, wiping the tears from his eyes. “It is at once the most horrible, and yet the most marvelous thing, in the Nine Realms! To see your love’s face… and only her face… day after day, year after year… To see her come apart beneath you, to hear her cries, to see her cradling your children, to see her smile that secret smile, only for you…” He paused, a wistful, gentle look on his face. “If you truly love her, if she truly loves you, then she only gets more beautiful as the years pass. And you know you would do anything for her. And you know that she feels the same about you…” Volstag looked down at him, his eyes bright. “It is the most powerful magic known to men.”

“I already feel that way,” Loki whispered, dazed.

“Then you have your answer,” Volstag said sagely. “Do you believe that she feels the same?”

“I don’t know,” Loki said, still looking stunned. “But think that I shall soon find out.”

Volstag quietly went back into the hall and fetched Thor, and the three of them set off down the corridor together, Volstag now pushing Loki’s chair, and Thor leading the way. When they arrived at a closed door, Thor put his hand on the knob.

“This is it,” he said, opening the door and stepping back.

“Take me in,” Loki said, bracing himself, “and then leave us. Please.”

Volstag wheeled him into the room and right up to the bed. He stepped back, and smiled down at Loki. “Good luck,” he said softly, and then left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

Loki gazed at Sif, tears in his eyes. He was appalled at her appearance. There were huge, dark circles under her eyes, and she was so thin. He gripped her hand, bringing it to his lips. Her breathing changed, and he froze. “Sif,” he whispered.

She began stirring, her eyelids fluttering, head turning from side to side on the pillow. Slowly her eyes opened and she stilled, a wry smile on her lips, and Loki grinned, because it was the familiar way she always looked at him in the morning, as if she loved him, but wasn’t sure why, or whether she even should, but that she couldn’t help it.

“Loki,” she said, her voice rusty from disuse. “I had the most awful dream. You and I were on Jotunheim, and you were a Jotun…”

Loki didn’t have time to feel dismay, because as she tried to sit up, it hurt her shoulder, and she cried out in pain. The sound cut Loki to the core, and he held her hand tighter, disgusted with himself that he was too weak to get out of his chair and go to her.

She settled back down on the bed, looking at him solemnly out of eyes that were suddenly huge. 

“It wasn’t a dream,” she said quietly. “You are Jotun.” She glanced around the room. “We got away then.” She closed her eyes and pulled her hand out of his grasp. “You can go now,” she said finally.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Loki said fiercely. “You’re stupid if you think that I would.” He smoothed his hand over his hair. “You’re the one who runs without waiting for an explanation, not me,” he said roughly.

“My healer wouldn’t approve,” she said wearily, not opening her eyes.

“How do you know that?” Loki asked incredulously. “Thor told me they’ve been keeping you under!”

She opened her eyes again, and the look she gave him caused the breath to still in his throat. “I wasn’t under that deep,” she said. “Besides, I’m in a healing chamber. It only stands to reason. You can’t be rough with a patient. I almost died!”

Loki nodded. “So did I,” he said quietly, and Sif’s eyes shot to his. “Infection,” he said, answering her unspoken question.

“So, what are you going to do?” she asked listlessly. “When I’m back on my feet, I’ll get someone to help me move my things. I’m sure Thor will let me move back into the women’s barracks, but I’ll need to put a lot of my belongings into storage…”

“That’s stupid,” Loki said absently. “Why would a princess of Asgard want to put her gear into storage and move into a barracks? I’m sure her husband, the prince, has plenty of room in his chambers, and a much more comfortable bed…”

“Loki,” she said, looking up at him wonderingly.

“Marry me, Sif,” he said, reaching out a hand and cupping her face gently. “I love you, and you love me. I know I can’t live without you, and you’re proven that you feel the same, as you’ve just risked nearly everything to save me.”

“There’s something I still have to tell you…” Her voice trailed off.

He smiled ruefully. “My brother has a big mouth,” he said, chuckling softly.

“Then you know…?” At his nod, she gave a sigh of relief. “Does that mean… they were able to save him?” Her free hand moved to her stomach, rubbing gently, and she looked at him hopefully, a question in her eyes.

“So far,” he said softly. “He’s not completely out of the woods yet, but they’re hopeful.” He paused, then went on. “Four months, Sif. When were you going to tell me?”

She looked away. “That night,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, Loki…”

Gently her turned her face back towards him and silently willed her to look at him. “Hmm,” he said. “Hormonal pregnant ladies sometimes fly off the handle, I’m told.”

“By Valhalla, I am so sorry, Loki,” she said, tears starting to roll down her face.

“You’ve said that already,” he told her sternly. “I believe you. I don’t ever want to hear it again. I know that in the future, we will both be more open with the other, that we will tell each other everything, and that neither one of us will ever not wait for the other to give their explanation. Not ever again.”

“You’re right,” she said, smiling at him hopefully, and he thought the brightness of it rivaled the sun.

But then, his mouth twisted, and he looked away. Sif tugged on his hand, and after a moment, he turned back to look at her. She sensed that this wasn’t about her, so she just forced herself to be calm, looked at him with all the love she felt, and simply asked, “What?”

He was quiet for a moment, before he said softly, “You know that this child, that any child you conceive with me, will be half Jotun…?”

Her mouth quirked. “Your point?” she asked. “I’m in love with a Jotun. Of course, our children will be half Jotun. How is that a problem?”

A slow smile transformed his face, until gradually his whole body was lit with happiness. “Sif, does this mean you’ll marry me?” he asked, holding his breath.

He let it out all at once, when she said, “Seeing as how I know I can’t live without you, I think I’d better.”

He pulled his chair closer to the bed, and as his lips met hers, he knew that they had both finally come home at last, for they had found their true home in each other.


End file.
